Five reminders for CEO speeches in the recession

P.J. — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 12:53:37 +0000

I wondered what it must be like these days writing speeches for CEOs of the recently bailed-out banks. So I dug up a few and they look like something written by a large committee and edited by many, many lawyers. You could tell when a corporate committee gets creative – speeches get full of BFOs. If your mind wonders if there is anything obscene in the acronym, looking at the middle letter, it’s not. It just means Blinding Flashes of the Obvious. Some of these speeches are so careful not to offend anybody or touch anything of substance, they define boring.

At the same time, there are a few things to absolutely avoid in your next CEO speech:

#1 It’s not over until it’s over

Unless your CEO’s name is Nouriel Roubini, don’t say the recession is over just because some guy lost his stash of Ritalin, went on TV, and said the recession was over. Quote the optimists and the pessimists rather than try to make your CEO sound like he or she won the Nobel Prize in economics last year. Nobody knows and everybody is guessing, big time.

#2 Recession hurts

Please don’t say: “recession is a blessing.” If you think nobody would ever say that, just google it. I couldn’t believe it when I was reading this statement either. You can say that you made a “pretty good return” from the market crash if you are George Soros, have all the money in the world, or don’t care what people think about you. If you want to make your CEO in touch with the real world, quote the unemployment numbers or, if your company is doing well, just say how many number of jobs you’ve saved compared to others in your industry.

#3 Doing more with less

Doing more with less begs a question: have you been doing less with more before the market crash? Avoid such trite statements because they are meaningless. Offer concrete examples of true creativity that will help your company weather the storm.

#4 Quick fixes

It’s often tempting to come up with one decisive move that will make all the difference. I found a blog post that asked if social media would lead us out of the recession. Now, maximizing social media tools is absolutely essential for any business, especially now. But there is no single solution that will turn this economy around. It’s going to take a concentrated effort by many, using diverse tools to get us out of this mess. Forget quick fixes, there are none.

#5 Don’t try to get funny… about anything to do with the recession

Please don’t let your CEO say: “Some of my best friends are bankers.” Saying “Some of my best friends are Canadian bankers” is a lot better. With unemployment numbers hitting double digits, there is nothing funny about this recession. Just be extraordinary careful and judicious with anything that tries to be funny these days.